Idle Conversation

I'm sure every mom has gotten to the point where they wish at least once that they could have some intellegent adult conversation. Well, now two weeks without any consistent adult chatter I am desperate. As an example of a typical 10 minutes in my household I will describe the short drive to pick up dinner tonight.

I glance back in my rearview mirror and see William with a piece of yarn that he has wrapped around his teeth and is now yanking with all his might until his arms begin to shake with the strain.

Me: 'William, stop pulling on that string!'
William: 'WHY?'
(Great now my one and a half year old has learned the dreaded word, they will now double team me) As I try to explain to him the dangers of ripping his teeth out, Jonathon begins to feel left out.

Jonathon: 'Mr. William! Mr. William!'
William: (now ignoring me, of course...I am of little significance next to his brother) 'What?'
Jonathon: 'Mr. William...I mean, Mr. Owl...How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?'
-Pause while William thinks about that one...
Jonathon: 'Mr Owl, did you just eat my Tootsie Pop?'
William: 'Yup'
Jonathon: 'Then spit it back out!'
(I swear that was not part of the commercial but maybe that is because the last time I saw that commercial was about 20 years ago, I can't believe they are still airing the same one...cheap bastards)

Jonathon and William are having a good laugh at their new joke but just seconds later Jonathon calls to me: 'Mommy! You need to take a picture of this'
Me: 'A picture of what?'
Jonathon: 'Spiderman has his booty on backwards!'
(I glance in my rearview mirror and sure enough his Spiderman action figure is looking at me straight on and also mooning me at the same time) Jonathon thinks this is hilarious and is in stitches for the rest of the ride to dinner. For those interested to know what the conversation was on the way home it was a 10 minute breakdown on why 'popcorn chicken' is called 'popcorn chicken'...Please somebody call me before I start giggling everytime I hear the word poopy or chicken underpants, my brain is degenerating quickly...